How to Swat Turkeys, Not Bugs By Babe Winkelman Have you ever had a gobbler approach in stealth mode, without making a gobble or even the sound of a footstep? I have many times. But the one bird that stands out in my memory the most is an Eastern that was easily the biggest turkey I’ve ever seen in my life. I can’t even guess how heavy he was, and his beard was as thick as my wrist and practically dragged on the ground. He came in just outside of my peripheral vision. And like I said, he didn’t make a sound. Ten more steps and he would have popped out right in front of me. But he didn’t, because of a mosquito. A mosquito you ask? How can a winged creature that small have any kind of effect on a winged creature the size of a mature Tom? I’ll tell you how: the voracious little blood-sucking bandit had rudely attached himself to my neck, just as the unseen turkey was approaching. I could feel its little syringe going in, and I tried not to flinch because it’s always so important to sit like a statue when turkey hunting. But the discomfort of that tiny torture machine was too much for me to take, so… WHAP! I got him with my right hand. I also unwittingly spooked King Kong Tom with my movement. I have never hated a mosquito more than that one, and I never saw that bird again. Well, there are lessons learned on every hunt and that day I learned (the hard way) to always be prepared with the right gear – insect repellent included. This is especially true when hunting in areas that have ticks carrying Lyme Disease, which is a terrible disease that can have dire consequences if undetected or untreated. So now there’s always a can of repellent in my turkey pack, whether I’m hunting in the spring or fall. And because I hunt turkeys so often with the people I love most in the world, my wife and daughters, I always make sure they’re protected with an effective repellent too. This year there’s something new that’s really wonderful. It’s called OFF!® Deep Woods® Dry – and “dry” is the definitive word. You know that sort of greasy, sticky feeling that other repellents have? Well this stuff goes on with a dry, comfortable feeling on your skin. And it has all the proven protection of OFF!® Deep Woods®, which repels ticks, mosquitoes, black flies, sand flies, chiggers, gnats and no-see-ums. One application lasts for about eight hours, and a four-ounce can will only run you about six dollars. I don’t know about you, but that’s a small price to pay to hunt in dry comfort without worrying so much about ticks, or waving your hands around to keep biting insects at bay! Now, let’s talk about swatting TURKEYS! I want to give you two surefire tips that will help you bring home more poultry, whether you’re hunting with a shotgun or a bow. For shotgun hunting, it is 100 percent critical to pattern your turkey gun before you go hunting – with the choke you’re going to use in the field. Some hunters like to use anatomical turkey targets when patterning. And they’re great for the job. But a sheet of cardboard with a snuff-can-sized circle drawn on it will do just as well. Because all you’re trying to determine is whether the payload is landing where you aim it; and that a lethal dose of shot is hitting inside the strike zone at your gun’s effective range for turkeys. Knowing your gun’s patterning performance ensures two things. First, that you’ll make humane, lights-out shots. We owe this to the birds we hunt. And second, it will arm you with confidence in your shooting skills and equipment – which is so important. For bow hunting, know where the vital organs reside in a turkey. That might sound silly, but it’s not where people instinctively assume they’re located. Rookie turkey bow hunters regularly shoot too high and too far forward on turkeys – into the meat of the chest. And you will not kill a gobbler with that shot. The vitals in a turkey are quite low and located about where the drumstick muscles meet the body. Here’s what you do to get a study in turkey anatomy: go to the grocery store, buy a turkey and study how it’s built and where the organ cavity is located. Engrain it in your memory, so when the moment of truth comes and you’re putting that pin on your bird, you put it where it belongs. After your anatomy lesson, eat the bird. It’s a win-win. I hope these little lessons pay dividends for you this season, and I hope you swat a giant gobbler. Who knows, maybe you’ll get the one that mosquito cost me.   Good hunting!   Babe Winkelman